Letter to John

Written on 31/01/2025 & 01/02/2025
Read out by Tracy during John's service on 13/02/2025  

 

To John from Jana

John, my dearest, most wonderful husband, my favourite Welshman,

I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you so much. If only I could hear you talk to me again.

I always knew that if I was ever going to get married, it would be to a special man. Little did I know how very special that man would be! The most beautiful soul, the strongest will, the sharpest mind, the most intense voice, the biggest heart, the gigantic zest for life – all this was you, and I simply cannot understand how you, who you were so full of life and energy, how you can be gone. Even towards the end, when your energy slowly faded, you would still fight to get better and fitter. It was this incredible willpower, this hunger for life, that defined you. It was what made you survive your accident at just 25, it was what made you turn your injury into something positive, into a life full of adventures, achievements, travels around the world and deep, meaningful and lasting relationships. There were many obstacles on the way, serious health scares in particular, but you somehow found the strength over and over again to adjust and continue on your path with unwavering determination and appreciation of everything life had to offer.

Thank you for letting me into your life, for conquering my heart and for allowing me into yours.

Thank you for almost ten special, intense years full of love, challenges and wonder.

Thank you for making me your wife and for showing me how beautiful commitment, loyalty and togetherness can be. We married at one of the darkest points in our lives, thinking you might only have weeks or months left to live, and it turned out to be the best decision ever. The positive energy it set free still blows my mind.

Thank you for making me grow and blossom by your side and for making me learn to trust again. Thank you for trusting me, for making me feel safe and for never allowing any negative impact to define our relationship.

I won’t thank you for upsetting me at times, but I do thank you for apologising afterwards. And I thank you for forgiving me whenever I upset you. You were always much better at forgiving than I will ever be.

Thank you for sharing your life with me, your thoughts and ideas, your worries, your dreams, your disappointments and joys. Thank you for sitting in the backyard with me, soaking up vitamin D and just enjoying the moment together.

Thank you for introducing rugby to me. I won’t ever forget us getting hypnotised by Dan the Man’s kicking ritual during the first World Cup we watched together.

Thank you for teaching me so many different things. Thank you for listening to me and for being willing to learn from me. Thank you for discussing politics with me as well as the ideal size of roast potato chunks, for sharing recipes with me as well as your love of music and poetry and your interest in the news, for taking me to Bosham, Emsworth, Chichester and Rhossili and to the ENIL Freedom Drive in Brussels, for introducing your wonderful friends to me who meant so much to you and who you meant so much to, and for making me an Auntie to your precious nieces and nephew who always held such an important place in your heart.

Thank you for being so special, and thank you for making me feel special.

I am so very proud of you, your achievements, your remarkable legacy, the change you and your friends and allies made possible for yourselves and for countless others to follow, but most importantly, I am proud of you never losing your positive attitude, your genuine interest in others, your thoughtfulness, your passion and your commitment to those close to you.

I will forever be grateful for our time together. Can you see my face? I am smiling at you. I am smiling at you and thinking of the poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning we both fell in love with the moment we read it together.

 

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

 

Forever your wife

Jana



Wedding Day October 2018
Wedding Day October 2018

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